Monday, March 2, 2009

Top 5 Worst Songs by Great Artists

So The Nüdge has a penchant for making top 5 lists, my goal is to make enough over time that I can eventually make a Top 5 Top 5 lists list. So we are going to start it off with the Top 5 Worst Songs by Great Artists. Let me explain the criteria I am using a bit. In order to be eligible the song must be really, really bad but performed by an artist I think is really good. So for instance while I may be tempted to put every song ever played by the The Eagles on the list, I cannot because that would imply that in spite of this one song (in this case their entire repertoire) that they are still great which they clearly are not. The same analogy also works for Aerosmith, although they may be eligible for a future Top 5 list: Top 5 Great Songs by Horrible Artists. Anyways I think you get the point, feel free to comment and add suggestions, if they are bad enough I may have to edit the list, like the Constitution it can be viewed as a living and breathing document.

5) Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton - I know this one will be a controversial pick because of the subject matter of this song but seriously this is the guy who rocked with Cream, ripped Crossroads, played Further on up the Road at the Last Waltz, and who covers J.J. Cale like no other not once but twice, and we have to listen to this. Add the requisite saturation through constant radio play and the sympathy Grammy's and this song becomes borderline unbearable.

4)Shiny Happy People-R.E.M. - This song makes me want to shoot myself in the head. And just when you thought it couldn't be worse... , actually I take it back that may be better.

3)France - The Grateful Dead - This song is so bad I cannot find an Internet link for audio of it, the best I can do is find a site that scrolls the lyrics, my only guess is because to play the song would immediately bankrupt the web provider. Seriously find the Shakedown Street album put it on Track 2 and wonder to yourself how this is not #1 on my list, especially compared to this from the same album. Thanks for letting Mickey Hart write a song and Donna Jean sing one guys. If this had been written by Weir/Barlow or Garcia/Hunter it might really be #1, it slides to #3 because maybe they were just throwing Mickey a bone by putting it on the album either that or they had found some really really potent drugs at the time. Never Performed Live.

2)Higher Love - Steve Winwood - This song is so bad it almost makes you forget how great Steve Winwood actually is. From Spencer Davis Group to Traffic to Blind Faith (a band with two members cracking this list) Steve Winwood was an artist that other artists wanted to play with. I saw a Biography on Jimi Hendrix where a close friend of his is talking about how Jimi always wanted to play with Steve Winwood but was too nervous to ask, something tell me if he had been around for this release it may have settled his nerves a bit.

1)I'm No Angel - Gregg Allman - When I first found out this was Gregg Allman I did not believe it, I actually thought it was Eddie Money for years. Boasting great lyrics such as "Come and let me show you my tattoo" it is hard to see where this song steered so far wrong. I can only rest easy that Gregg Allman did not end his career with this, and has since been touring with The Allman Brothers Band and not playing this garbage. Talk about a roller coaster, start with this brilliance then move to what we are discussing and then come full circle to end well.

Others receiving votes: Kokomo - The Beach Boys, Savoy Truffle - The Beatles, The entire Album -Ball - Widespread Panic.

Ok there is my list, have at it, up next Top 5 Worst Venues to see a show.
Nüdge out.

8 comments:

  1. How about this little jewel for an honorable mention:

    "We Built This City" by Starship (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH-UqB7uYiE)

    It's hard to believe that Starship was the same group that just two name changes ago was pioneering the psychadelic rock sounds of the San Francisco summer of love, the rock & roll hall of fame band Jefferson Airplane.

    Compare "We Built This City" to some of the Airplane's earlier seminal works such as:

    "Somebody to Love" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4TlDDOvsFY&feature=related);

    "White Rabbit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0); and

    "Volunteers" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SboRijhWFDU)

    Oh yeah, and I'm not the only one who feel this way. Check out #1 on this list: (http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=819)

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  2. I'm guessing Nissan Pavilion might top the next list, huh?

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  3. "What is a moderate interpretation of (the Constitution)? Halfway between what it says and halfway between what you want it to say?" -Antonin Scalia

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  4. notwithstanding the fact that it apparently ranks as number eight on rolling stone's greatest 500 songs of all time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolling_Stone's_500_Greatest_Songs_of_All_Time), every time i hear hey jude on the radio i want to drive my car off an overpass. chances are, your parents got divorced, too. did any one write you a song? i don't think so. the only way it could be any worse is if they were chanting hare krishna in the background.

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  5. also, i forgot to add that i wholeheartedly agree with the nudge that france is definitely in contention for worst song ever (by a great artist or otherwise). i got a copy of shakedown street from somebody when i was relatively young. after the first two tracks, i was wildly confused, concluded the grateful dead sucked, and didn't listen to them again for several years.

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  6. so i know i've pretty much maxed out my allotted commentary space, but i just have to add that i just watched the i'm no angel video, and it is aaaaaaaaaamazing. what's this crazy object under this sheet? oh! a keyboard! a drumset! an amp...whoa! gregg allman makes one seriously bad ass zombie keyboard player from the western frontier. also...he gets lynched at the end? what the hell? a truly amazing peek into the inner sanctum of gregg allman's (by now not functioning and by 1987 only barely functioning) cocaine saturated brain. love it.

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  7. This list may be the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. What kind of taste in music do you have?

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